Friday, January 30, 2009

just bored.

i'm in the rmt now, and i don't know whether i should eat, leave, do something else, or sleep.
i'm just thinking about a lot of things right now, now at 4:34 in the afternoon.
i want to eat but i don't really want to. mercury retrograde is still happening in my life, ugh.

so i'm going to think about happy things. 

- it's amazing, hugs, noh? no words. no explanation. a hug just feels great. :)
- my NO SPEED LIMIT funrun project is finally approved. the route, the assembly area, the food. etc. i'm happy that it's done. the paperwork and going back and forth, etc. we're all set and ready for the event. i mean, with getting the project approved. wooh. let's do this.
- unang baboy sa langit. 3 shows more to go. i'm just really really really tired of doing the shows, my body is trying so hard to push and exert more. but then. my heart. it doesn't want to stop doing the shows. it doesn't want to rest. i still want to feel the hype. everything. i love ubl. 


arghhhh happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things happy things. 

think happy things timee. happy things. 
4:40 pm. 

happy things. happy things. happy things.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

what is mercury retrograde.

a few weeks ago, i read about mercury retrograde in www.chuvaness.com  you can google it. it's when things that have something to do with communication go haywire. gadgets, phones, misunderstandings and stuff. the phenomenon started jan11 and will be ending on feb1.


BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TILL FEB COMES. COZ I'M HAVING ONE HECK OF A MERCURY RETROGRADE. arrgh.


- there's just something bothering me, and i've promised i'd keep it to myself and think about it before making any decisions. i've recklessly crossed the road with my eyes closed. and now i'm wishing something would just hit me. argh.

- my stupid laptop, my browser, anything at all. DOESN'T WORK. i've been trying to upload pictures, but it doesn't. i can't upload pictures for my blogspot profile, i can't upload a new headshot for multiply and friendster. i can't. i can't send files on ym, my yahoomail doesn't attach anything, i can't send anything out of this laptop without the use of a flash disk. it's just all stupid.

- my phone has been acting up lately. stupid stupid.

- NO SPEED LIMIT VENUE. whew. thank God i got that cleared. a few weeks ago, i went to the Cervini office to inquire about reserving their field for SPEED's funrun. they told me it was reserved to kythe. when we asked kythe about it, their reservation was for the 4th, not the 6th. when i called cervini again, they told me no one is reserving the field for the 6th. WHAT IS MISCOMMUNICATION.

- NO SPEED LIMIT, NO SPEED SPONSOR. we failed. we didn't get milo as a sponsor. because we didn't contact them earlier. and this is the first time they're not sponsoring this funrun for us. when i remember milo, i sometimes think i'm a huge failure for not being able to get them as sponsors. i'm so sorry SPEED, i let you down.

- directing workshop. i haven't contacted anyone yet. and i'm afraid it's just too late to get speakers for the event. i'm afraid of failing this too.


everything is just. argh. is a blah. please feb. i need you to come now. please. :((

Monday, January 26, 2009

i think in my future, i'm gonna be a human rights advocate.

there's just so many issues in the world, i feel like i want to be involved in everything. first child abuse. and then, female circumcision.

i'm here in my psych testing class. sorry, i'm not really listening. but. i got tidbits from her discussion. hehei don't know how we got to that topic, but she said something that reminded me of female circumcision. i remember that it's a tradition in africa and all the girls should undergo through the painful process. i don't know much about it, but whatever it really is, IT'S NOT RIGHT. I'm not even going to narrate how it's done. my intestines cannot take it. it's just. INHUMANE!!!!!!!! for guys, circumcision is done for maturity or something, i don't really know. but i know that it's for a good reason.

BUT TO CUT OFF A GIRL'S EXTERNAL GENITALIA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??! FTW!!!!!!!!

here's an article i found online about it. please read about it and educate yourself.

UK/AFRICA: Female Circumcision: A Tradition Steeped in Blood
Brian Brady
06-22-08

Police are to stage high-profile checks on flights to a number of African states in an attempt to stop young girls being taken abroad to be forcibly mutilated with the consent of their parents.

Research commissioned by the Department of Health suggests that more than 20,000 British girls are at risk of being forced into the agonising procedure, where all or part of their external genitals are cut off and stitched up. Officers will question all adults taking girls on certain flights, believing it is their best chance of saving thousands of children from female genital mutilation at the hands of tribal "elders" called in by their own families.

Moves to tackle the culturally sensitive issue will come as ministers from several government departments struggle to stamp out the ancient tribal tradition amid evidence that thousands of British girls are at risk from a ritual that is supposed to mark their transition into womanhood.

The campaign group the Foundation for Women's Health and Development (Forward UK) estimates that around 11,000 British-based girls aged between nine and 15 have undergone the ritual – in the UK or in their parents' home countries.

The study, the first to gauge the prevalence of the practice in Britain, concluded that at least 66,000 women already living in this country are victims of "female circumcision". Hospitals and clinics across the country have reported an increasing number of women showing evidence of the mutilation, which often has a devastating impact on their health and ability to give birth naturally.

Children as young as five are held down and cut, sometimes with razor blades or broken glass, in a ritual driven by a range of cultural demands, including a desire to demonstrate a girl's virginity on her wedding night. The practice, which survives mainly in 28 countries in East and West Africa, has been targeted as a fundamental human rights violation in recent years by the United Nations and individual states, including the UK.

The World Health Organisation estimates that up to 140 million girls and women around the world have suffered some type of genital mutilation, and around three million girls, most of them under 15, undergo the procedure every year. It is estimated that almost 175,000 women from countries that still practise the procedure now live in England and Wales.

Somalian supermodel Iman, who is married to David Bowie, avoided the mutilation thanks to her parents, who maintained that she had gone to a hospital to have the procedure done when, in fact, she was preparing to go to university. She has spoken out against the practice, like her cousin Waris Dirie. Ms Dirie, who suffered the procedure at the age of five, retired from modelling in 1997 to focus on her work against genital mutilation and was appointed Special Ambassador for the Elimination of Female Genital Mutilation by Kofi Annan, then UN Secretary-General.

She said of her ordeal: "I felt not complete with myself as a woman. Some days I felt so powerless."

Since 1985, Britain has passed two laws banning the practice, and social workers, teachers, police and health officials have been given training in how to recognise and treat victims and children identified as being at risk. But pressure groups and opposition politicians last night warned that the Government was not doing enough to tackle the issue, or even to investigate the true extent of the problem.

Labour MP Ann Clwyd, who pushed through a bill making it illegal to perform the procedure on a British citizen anywhere in the world, complained that it was "an absolute disgrace" that no one had been prosecuted under the new regulations. And Theresa May, the shadow Minister for Women, said the Government did not have an overall national strategy for stamping out the practice.

She said: "It seems this is an area where the Government thinks it could just put down legislation and that would sort it out. But we have had no prosecutions and, in the meantime, ministers have admitted to us that they have not issued any guidance to professionals on what action to take if they find someone who has been a victim."

Police and government officials admit that they are "disappointed" at the failure to prosecute anyone accused of carrying out or aiding and abetting genital mutilation. A £20,000 reward offered last year by the Metropolitan Police in partnership with the Waris Dirie Foundation failed to generate any prosecutions. Senior officers claim this demonstrates the ties of family and community loyalty that keep the practice underground.

However, Detective Sergeant Clare Chelsom, of Project Azure, an operation set up by Scotland Yard's Child Abuse Investigation Command specifically to deal with the issue, said she believed that police had managed to prevent a number of new cases.

She said: "The project has three separate strands – educating the communities and making sure they understand what they are doing to their daughters, raising awareness of the problem and finally enforcing the law against it.

"There is a problem in victims coming forward because reporting it means reporting on their own families. But the reports we have received have gone up from three to 33 since we launched our campaign last summer and we feel the interventions we have made as a result of these have protected young girls."

However, DS Chelsom admits that colleagues in some of Britain's biggest police forces remain unaware of the problem – despite evidence that health centres are seeing growing numbers of women who have been mutilated. Maternity clinics in Liverpool have identified 237 women who have suffered the procedure in the past three years. The city's Alder Hey children's hospital has also reported seeing young girls suffering complications after the mutilation.

Campaigners have warned that some families have flown "excisors" into Britain from their home countries specially to carry out the practice on their daughters, while many more have taken their children out of the country for the procedure.

Police are now planning to mount spotchecks on flights to destinations including Somalia and Senegal, beginning with a high-profile swoop on Heathrow airport next month to try to prevent girls being taken out of Britain to face mutilation. A senior Met officer said the operation, along with new training for airline staff, was the last chance to safeguard children being taken out of the country to undergo the mutilation.

Ms Clwyd, whose act increased the penalty for genital mutilation from five to 14 years' imprisonment, welcomed the attempt to protect girls from the "obscene practice" and she pledged: "I will be meeting with colleagues to discuss how to put more pressure on the authorities to bring these criminals to justice."

'I was five. It hurt so much that I thought I would die'

Brought up in a Muslim community in Senegal, Salimata Badji-Knight was circumcised when she was five. She now lives in London and works as an advocate for Forward in the UK.

"When it happened I was five, and I didn't even know this practice existed. I was taken off with my cousins and other girls that I knew – we thought that we were going to a party. I was reassured because so many people I knew were there. Then the atmosphere changed, and the adult women became more aggressive. They took one of the girls away, and I heard her scream – I was the 20th girl to be taken, so I heard that scream over and over again. I heard them saying 'No, don't cut me', but I didn't know what they were cutting.

"Then it was my turn. I didn't know what was happening, but it hurt so much I thought that I was going to die. They must have used a knife but I couldn't see it. It felt like having all of your nails ripped off at the same moment. There was no anaesthetic. Physically, it took a long time for me to heal. Every day when I have a shower I am reminded of the fact that I have been mutilated.

"We need to stop this practice; it is terrorising people for life. I visited my father and explained what had been done to me. He cried and vowed that no other girls in the family would have this happen to them.

"For a long time, I didn't want to talk about what happened to me, but if it will help one person to put down the knife, I'm happy to tell my story."

SOURCE: The Independent http://www.fgmnetwork.org/gonews.php?subaction=showfull&id=1214174335&archive=&start_from=&ucat=1&

when i turned 18. :)

gahd that was a year ago, i'm gonna turn twenty in like 10 months from now. hahaha.

this video was made by my bestfriends, my muhratz, catt and bel. :) we spent a deal with shooting this. starring shiek, kela, of course catt and bel, and other people. hahaha. also in the video are my siblings, josh, siv and kay. :)




it's not as professional as mayad studios, but for amateurs, we did pretty well. :)
enjoy!

livin' and lovin' it,
timee

Sunday, January 25, 2009

TIMEE'S GRAND FANS DAY!

it just so happened that most of my friends are watching UNANG BABOY SA LANGIT on the 28th, this WEDNESDAY! :) get tickets now because there's less than 30 tickets left for that day!! WOOH!!!

UNANG BABOY SA LANGIT by Rene O. Villanueva
play adaptation by Christine Bellen
directed by Dr. Jerry Respeto
Music by Noel dela Rosa
Choreography by Joseph Keith Anicoche
Production Design by Gino Gonzales
Lights Design by Voltaire de Jesus

GO GO GO!! SUPPORT UNANG BABOY SA LANGIT!!!!!!

i HATE CHILD ABUSE.

i just saw this commercial in abs-cbn. i don't know if it was an ad for a campaign or something. but the scene showed a father screaming at a child, and the child was running away from him, crying.

it just tore my heart apart.

i CANNOT IMAGINE. ANY PARENT. HURTING THEIR OWN CHILDREN. OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER, HURTING A HELPLESS CHILD.

I DON'T EVEN APPROVE OF SPANKING.

IT HAS NEVER BEEN A RIGHT WAY TO DISCIPLINE.

IT'S JUST INHUMANE.


www.endabuse.org
get yourself educated about it.
it's never an option for anyone.
aarrggghh.


i saw this commercial on tv. it's really touching. please watch.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

the diff between the stage and the screen

when i was a kid, i wanted to be an artista. a tv personality. a celebrity. a superstar. i used to sing "Wooden Heart" in front of my relatives and they'd clap for me, and tell me i know how to sing. Back then, it made me think, maybe i could be one. i wanted to be on stage, doing concerts, hosting afternoon shows, doing special appearances, doing my own talk show, newscasting, starring in my own soap, the whole package.

but as i grew older, i saw the complications of the showbiz industry.
sure, you're rich and famous. you're pretty. you can afford to go to Belo or have a major surgery. you can live in a mansion, with a huge pool, and ride in fancy cars. walk around with macho bodyguards and be chased by paparazzis.

but i'd rather finish my studies and secure my future, live a simple low-profile life, and be successful and fulfilled without stepping on anyone or without breaking any rules.

i haven't given up on my dreams of becoming one, if opportunity knocks on my door, i'll jump right out of the window. HAHA!

but i have already channeled my passion onto a different world.


Theater.

as i type this blog, the image i'm envisioning is that of a stage shaking, ready to explode and fume its heat and energy into its audience. and its audience transforming into something more than who they were when they first entered the theater. theater shakes me. it's just a different world. i've never experienced something so true. so real. (move over reality shows)


why do i have this sudden realization about theater and showbiz?
i was watching Mamma Mia last night. i couldn't think of better people for the roles. :)
Meryl Streep and that wide-eyed pretty girl... James Bond guy, and the other guys.
anyway, as i was watching, i could just imagine how they shot every scene. and i always do it when watching soaps on tv, or afternoon shows... 'lights! camera! action!' actor says his lines, co-actor replies... they raise voices... the other walks out... and 'cut!' the actor goes back to his tent, drinks refreshments, reviews his lines, make up people retouches his make up, and he's back. the way i see it, the energy is (i cannot find a better word) paputol-putol. it's inconsistent. (there!) yeah, your playing the role of a lawyer in his mid 40s struggling with injustice and homosexuality. but when a scene is shot, that's the only moment you feel that you're that gay attorney. and it's easy to be angry on screen. you just have to raise your voice, frown and break glass. and when the director says cut, that's it.


in theater it's totally different. you spend months and months rehearsing scene after scene. you spend forever from writing the song, composing the musical score, teaching it to the actors, and then finally creating a choreography for it. not only that, it's a struggle to deal with the stage, the props, the lights, the tickets, the audience, make up, costumes. the whole package. a huge preparation is made before the very opening night. and when you're on stage, in front of 250 people, that's it. no one's gonna say 'cut!' in the middle of the scenes in case you commit a mistake. you won't be able to repeat a scene in case you forgot a line or a step, or missed a note. if a basket of fruits gets stuck on your costume on stage, no one from the costumes committee is gonna come up on stage and help take it off you. and you have to keep your energy high. there's no way to go but up. that's what we usually say before the show. we all have to keep our energy up there, and even go higher. during the two hours of the run, there's no time to rest. no time to sleep. no time to do your make up all over again. it's like laying out all the cards in front of the audience.


and the internalization is keraazy. when i played the role of a single mother with a 7 month old baby, i internalized like crazy. the scene needed a sense of urgency. and for that to happen, i'd have to think like a mother. who was left by her husband and her baby's nanny. it's not enough that i panic because i'm late for work and no one's gonna watch over my child. it's not enough that i prance around in my oversized shirt and bedroom slippers, scrambling through things, searching for a lost diaper to show i'm tensed. it's not enough that i bellow and shriek to express my frustration. why am i frustrated? why should i be tensed? how important is my child to me? how important is it that i keep my job? why am i so angry at my husband for leaving me? why do i need other people to help me fix my life? personal truths. to feel it, to feel the role, it must come from somewhere. yes, an actor can use his voice and his body. but most importantly. an actor must use his heart.


i am not saying that the actors in soaps do not internalize the way theater actors do. i am not saying that theater is better than being a celebrity. (being in showbiz is high-paying and has a lot of perks. hello.) but for me, theater is a deep thing. it digs deeper into you. it changes your world. it becomes your lifestyle. you drop everything when you hear the words 'COMPANY CALL!' you love the sound of 'full house'. you know who kuya jason is and what he needs from you after every show. (lol) you'll love Nichido all the more. You'll know that GIN-DOWNY isn't an alcoholic 'drink'. HAHA.


in theater, (maybe because this is a theater organization, i don't know about theater companies) you're close to the crew. the stage managers, the make up people, the costumes people. you know who's controlling the lights, turning the sounds on, making the props. the relationships (cheke!) formed in theater is more intimate. (the only intimate relationship i can think of in showbiz is that of an actress and a director. there are a lot actually. :)


everyone is just alive in theater. and i love it.
(my heart is screaming! it's like kilig. EMO-RGASM!!)


forgive me, but i know i'm not in the position to explain all this because my experience in theater is not at all that extensive. but in the 7 years of my life on stage, this is what theater has made me feel. :) i feel that this is where i belong, and that i'm at home on stage. :)

as what Kuya Kalil said, not everyone is given the opportunity to act on stage.

"Awit ng Pagsilang" my solo :)

Thank you for giving me this, God. :)

a high B+ in 2hours and 18 minutes!

i have been hesitant about posting unang baboy sa langit pictures. But since it's a week down and one more week of shows to go, i guess i can post these already. :)

ALELUBABOYAH.
during one of the costume runs. :)


it's just fulfilling now after that HIGH B+ show, and we were able to do the whole thing in 2 hours and 18 minutes. Before every show, it is announced that the running time will be 2 hours and 30 minutes. BUT WE DID IT. and we do the grading system for every run. 1st show was a C+. 2nd was high B. 3rd show was a D. oh yeah. 4th was a low B, and then today, Saturday... we had two shows, our matinee show scored a LOW B+ and our gala show scored a HIGH B+!!! What a way to end the week!! :)

Beki, BodyGuard, Luwela, Batik, Daga, Kikay and Siamese,
during one of our costume runs


tonight, i went home with two styros of happy homes meals (because the nourishment committee had suuuper extra food for everyone. :) two canvas bags and a big smile on my face. :) i'm not tired, i'm not sick... i'm just really glad that we had a good show. During the song "Awit ng Paglilinis", our energy was usually low for the past shows, but this show was just different. OUR ENERGY ALTHROUGHOUT THE PLAY WAS JUST AMAZING. When finale came, we were uber inspired because people were clapping with us! We loved the audience especially! They were responsive, they were an energetic and a generous audience. :) thank you XAVIER BOYS! HAHA! and and and! NO NOTES FOR AWIT NG PAGSILANG! (my solo) WOOOH! nailed it! HAHA

this has got to be my best kilays ever. :)

Sunday. is the time to study. i shall. i will. i must. :)
but i'll have to wash my socks first! *oink oink*

livin' and lovin' it, timee

Friday, January 23, 2009

number one from v2.0

as i explained, something's wrong with google. they didn't accept my email and password. so either that or it's memory gap. lol. i couldn't stand not blogging, so here's v2.0! you guys can check out my previous blogs at www.timeerificiationisms.blogspot.com huhu. farewell first blogspot. huhu

new year, new blog. wooh.

what have i been up to lately?

- i am sick. i'm just sick again. my nose is stuffy all the time, my head really really hurts, my allergies are acting up again (i believe it's because of the make up, and the climate change) and i'm stressed. i'm juggling several things at one time, i don't think i'm equally distributing my efforts to all the things i have to do. boo. so. there. my mother and i have always believed that when we get sick, it has something to do with our psychological burdens. like i once has tonsilitis, i didn't know what else to do to make it go away. haha, i talked to my tonsilitis. according to my mother (she's a psychologist FYI), it's because in my subconscious, i'm keeping something that i've been wanting to say for so long. HAHA. whatever that was, maybe i already said it because i'm good now. HAHA i have yet to find out about why i'm sick now.

- UNANG BABOY SA LANGIT!! JAN19-31, 2009 RIZAL MINI THEATER, Ateneo de Manila University! tix at P220. PLEASE WATCH!!!
it's an original children's story from the late Rene O. Villanueva, written into a play by Christine Bellen! :) Directed by Dr. Jerry Respeto, Music by Noel dela Rosa, Choreography by JK Anicoche, Production Design by National Artist Gino Gonzales, Lights Design by Voltaire De Jesus! ENTABLADO will just take your breath away. :)

on another note. doing shows from monday(jan19) until saturday the following week (jan31) with only Sunday as our rest day. you can just imagine how terribly tired we are. well. I AM. after every show, after giving it all the energy i have left, i could just collapse and sleep forever. i'm doing all the shows because i have no alternates. although i have jai and pat as my emergency alternate in case something happens, i don't know, i just hope i'm still alive until the end. I'M JUST LOOKING FORWARD TO THE PROD PARTY AND NOT GETTING DRUNK. :) :)

God, just give me more energy. please. just 10 more shows. TEN. i can do it. i got through the 5 shows, just ten more please. please.

- ENTABLADO DIRECTING WORKSHOP. This is open to all sophomores and juniors in ENTABLADO. :) We will be inviting two critically-acclaimed award-winning Directors. :) watch out for it! Feb7 and 14!!!

- NO SPEED LIMIT!!!!!! TO ALL COLLEGE ATENEANS!!! IF YOU WANNA GET FIT, EARN MONEY AND HELP SPECIAL KIDS, then this event is for you!!!! NSL is a fun run wherein you ask pledges from your family and friends. Their pledges will be multiplied by how many rounds you make! And in the end, if you remit on time, you can get 10% or even 15% from your earnings!!! FREE SHIRT TOO! :) horay! JOIN NOW!!! contact TIMEE 09176030821!
on another note, again, heading this project, is. actually fun and exciting. yesterday i saw the people who signed up for NSL, and apparently there were more non-speed runners!!! i'm soo thrilled! the tarp and posters are wonderful too. everytime people would pass by our booth, they'd stop and laugh because of the disney couples in their jogging attires! haha my team heads are just GREAT. Dom, Via&Suzy, Migen&Pao. You're all the best.

I wanted to say i'm tired also with having to juggle this project with UNANG BABOY SA LANGIT, ENTA'S DIRECTING WORKSHOP, and guess what! i'm a student too!!! WITH MY ACADEMICS. but. it's just all fulfilling, knowing that people care, that people put effort in trying to make it happen. There was a point where i was thinking of giving up one of these. OBVIOUSLY, I CANNOT GIVE UP MY ACADEMICS. lol. but then i realized, i put myself into this situation, and i was fully aware that i'd be this tired. when i applied for project head, i was so enthusiastic. when i auditioned for unang baboy, i cried because all i wanted was to get in. When i accepted the Directing Workshop, i didn't have second thoughts. I WILL NOT GIVE UP. :) i can do this.

- OJT.(on the job training) i went to the jobfair in school this week, and looked around. i applied in all the companies i could. HAHA. i promised them my resume come friday, but i didn't have time to do it. i go home at midnight and go straight to sleep every night. so. yeah. most of the companies were for HR internships in my course. although the career path i'm choosing is in the academe, i will take whatever job for my OJT. although i took an application form from poveda, i also liked L'OREAL and HP. :)

but if you ask me about my DREAM JOB, it's working at WALT DISNEY STUDIOS. :)
i wanna be in the creative team, thinking of new cartoons, new gimmicks for Disneyland, and etc. how can psychology help in that field? HOY. Child psychology. Knowing what the kids want, what the kids don't want, what catches their attention, etc. WOOH. or maybe Nickelodeon too! :)


- ACADEMICS. let's see.
history : i have two group papers. i'm just terribly sorry to my groupmates, everything happening in histo have been a blur. i don't even know what's happening now. please tell me so that i can help. sob.
philo : oh the usual.
psychtesting : GO PROCRASTINATION TEST! we're developing this test and hopefully it'll be a good test. :) but i doubt our tests will be used seriously. HAHA it has to undergo reviewing by psych boards and stuff before it can be used by companies. and if we're that successful, we're gonna be rich! *evil laugh* WHAT IS THINKING AHEAD.
io : i cut the class last monday because it was opening night. :) it was a nice show. but i don't think i could make up for the quiz i missed. :)
social psych : i've been cutting the class lately coz i'm sick. so. i don't know what's happening with social psych.

i seem so lost. i will be back i promise.



with all these, i just hope i can get myself together again.
no, I SHOULD. I MUST.
i can do this.
livin' and lovin' it, timee