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I'm handling this better than I expected. I'm not okay, I won't pretend that I am, but I know that I will be, and that's something I can hold on to. I've decided not to put those walls up, like I always do, because I have to go through this. If it means I'll ugly cry over a sad movie and a tub of ice cream with friends at a sleepover, I will go through it. Even if it means listening to every sad song until my tears dry out, I will go through all the cliche activities until I get tired of it. One thing I'll never do though, is lose myself. I am thankful that I had my mind conquer this right from the very start, and did not lose all of me in the process, because right now, after all this has happened, I still feel whole, like I haven't lost anything at all. I will not avoid conversations about this, I will not pretend like it has not happened at all, I will cry if I want to, I will go through it because it is worth it. I've been waiting for this moment for a very, very long time, and I want to grasp every moment of it. Because in the future, when I'm really okay, I won't have to look back because I have not missed a step in this process. So the walls that I've used to put up before, they're down. I will take anything. I will let the pain consume me. I will let this hurt me like it's supposed to.

If anything, all this is only going to make me stronger.

DRUMS! (App Review)

I am not the most reliable "APP REVIEWER" but the other day, my brother was asking if he could purchase an app from the iTunes store. We bought DRUMS! for $0.99 only and it's a great app, especially for frustrated drummers like moi! You can choose from a variety of drums to play with, pick whether you want it left or right handed, and then basta! It's so OH SOME! haha!

What really amazed me with the app, and probably what pushed me to do a review on it (it is worth reviewing and telling the world) was the feature where you can select songs to include in a playlist, and you can play drums along with the songs! got all giddy when I played the drums to my favorite songs!

If you are a frustrated drummer, or someone who loves music and jamming with whatever instrument, or whatever you are! this is an app worth buying! :) (it may even be better than all those Tap Taps!)


sobrang natuwa talaga ako! haha

Boracay

Just got home from our 6 hour bus ride from Caticlan to Iloilo. So tired!!!

But the whole trip was just relaxing and epic at the same time. We spent most of the day chilling at the shore(think: sipping cocktails by the beach, very pa-cool of us) and half of the night wondering where we're going to end up.

Even if people think Boracay is overrated and overcrowded, i still think it's where I want to be summer after summer. I will keep on going to Boracay until I get too old for it! Haha!

Pictures soon!

(posting from my ipod. Trying the blogger app)

i hate you.

i hate you because you are so clueless,
but i hate myself more for not telling you.

i hate you because you don't care,
but i hate myself more for caring so much.

i hate you because nothing is happening,
but i hate myself more for not doing anything at all.

i hate you because you're not doing anything,
but i hate myself more for expecting too much.

i hate you because you're never there when i need you,
but i hate myself more when i feel like i'm not enough for you.

but most especially,
i just hate you because
i hate myself more and more each day,
for loving you too much,
maybe even more than i love myself.

you just have to say it

just say you need me,
and you know i don't have to say it,
but i'll be right here
i'll be right here and i'll never leave

how do you let go of the only thing you're sure of?
you don't.
i won't.



#cheese #kesodebola