Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Reasons I Should Stop Liking You

read the full article here

7. You give me reasons to want to be better, but I need to be better for me.

9. My day often revolves around you, when it should revolve around painting and reading and writing and things that I know I truly love.

11. I feel like you're an addition, and that scares me. I don't know how to stop.

12. The cycle keeps starting over and over again, for the past year and a half. I'm insecure enough to get sucked in for those few moments of what feels like happiness.

16. I think you forget how much potential you have. I don't think you realize how badly I want you to work hard for everything you deserve. 

18. I sometimes feel empty while I wait for your response. I need something to make me feel full again.

22. It seems like I'm always here, waiting in the wind for you. I think that's why you feel like you're not in danger of losing me. You might be right. 

26. I know how unhealthy this is. And it scares me. It scares me more than anything else.

29. You confuse me and I like that you make me feel, but you make me feel for the wrong reasons.

30. You often leave me sleepless, with good and bad intentions.

33. You know all my secrets except for the one where I'm going to keep running back. Because for an instant, every time, I think you'll know how I really feel and I won't have to tell you. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Happy One Week!

And it went by so quickly, it hasn't really sunken in yet.

I haven't been doing actual work yet, because we went to trainings for my first 2 days and the rest of the days were for orientation. I think I smiled too much last week, from being formally introduced to everyone, from listening to funny office stories---- smile too much my cheeks went numb. I can say I've been smiling a lot because all this is making me happy. Genuinely happy. If you saw the look on my face when I finally sat on my own desk--- I know, I know. Don't judge me! I'm not used to being around so much adults in the work place, not used to addressing people formally and not hugging them when you meet them in the hallways, not used to doing so much paperwork throughout the day, though I don't mind because at the end of the day, I would have checked so much on my to do list, the feeling of accomplishment is like getting 10 stars from my teacher.

I think, I grew up a little. :)

It sounds silly and too early to tell if this works for me or not. But this first week definitely blew me away. It all still feels surreal that I am where I am.

Thank YOU. :)