i was at the nstp area this morning, and i was watching our nstp students teach the kids BANANA. (it's a popular, uhm, cheer done in ateneo). Tapos one of our students asked the kids, "kids alam nyo ba kung ano yung banana?? sino makakasabi sa akin kung ano ang banana?" (pertaining to the fruit ha, not the dance) i dunno why they had to ask, but i guess it was to catch the attention of the kids. enthralled by the senselessness (MEHGANON) of the question, i answered it myself just in my mind."it's a sweet, yellow, elongated fruit"
tapos napaisip ako. i was just describing its physical features. for more, i didn't even consider the green bananas, or the tiny bananas that were as big as a pinky. tapos naisip ko bigla,
can anyone really answer "who am i?"
here are just some of my thoughts:
- yes, but then perhaps the truest answer would have to come from you because YOU KNOW who you are. but then how will that matter when you co-exist with other people, and how you are to them is all that matters?
- just like saying, i'm the daughter of mylene, i'm an assumptionista and an atenista, i live in the dorm. i'm describing the world i live in, the people i'm with, the identities and labels i've acquired. what if i just lived in a vacuum, where "I" am the only one existing. would i have an identity?
- no, (you can have your own opinion) because identity always has to be relative. because you're not alone. you don't exist in a vacuum. you need ateneo to be an atenista. you need mylene to be her daughter. you need ISO to be a dormer. you need this certain person to exist to be a someone who loves.
- back to my first point, then again. if we're talking about qualities here, if you're saying "i'm a kind person"... you'd still need other people to know if you're really kind, or more importantly, you'd need other people to do kindness to. right? "i'm a more anti-social, laidback, go with the flow kind of person" you can only be anti-social when you're not actually socializing with people around you. if there's no one around, no one to socialize with, you can't exactly call yourself an anti-social because there's no one to socialize with in the first place. roit? i'm a go with the flow kind of person? what's the flow? who made the
flow? where's the flow coming from? it's still something outside of one's psyche.
- and i think one's scheme of things, one's psyche just stems from one's surroundings. it's like hearing millions of frogs kokak-ing all at the same time outside your window, then you realize you hate frogs. how will you hate frogs without experiencing frogs?
- and so if who you really are comes from the outside, and what comes from the outside is the only thing that matters, than one should make some effort into making that image. for example everyone says you're a beech, but you really know that deep inside you're a nice person. a friendly down-to-earth person. but that niceness won't matter because everyone will treat you like a beech coz that's how they see you. you'd have to make an effort to show them your nice side right? so that they'd treat you appropriately. right? this is sad.
- because if everything in this world comes from an outsider's pov, then how do we really know if anything is true? gets ba? ako kasi hindi na.
if you're a bitch and you're treated like one -->> but really you're nice
and only your bitchiness will matter because that's how everyone sees you (unless you do something to change that)... and your niceness won't matter. then your bitchiness is not your true self.
we do this to everyone. it's called OBJECTIFICATION. we perceive things through the lenses of our own world. and because this is just how things are, just because they simply are, then how do we know if anything is true. how do we know if this reality, seen through our lenses, is authentic and in its truest form? in my world, my perception of banana was always long and yellow. pero di natin alam what makes the banana yellow, why are others green, sometimes they're very short din. but that's not our problem anymore is it? because what's important is that our world knows what banana is. and what our world says about it is the correct one. (okay ang labo ng example ng banana, i'll think of other examples)
oh i have an example. let's say we know this friend who has always been jolly and funny and outspoken and perky. and then one day she comes to you, all weary and sad. she tells you about her problems, and then you tell her, "just laugh it all off, that's what you always do diba, and it works most of the time! do it again! you can do it!" then she tells you it's different this time, and no amount of laughter or perkiness can change the situation. tapos magagalit tayo and we say na hindi siya marunong makinig, na ang nega nya. actually, nagagalit tayo dahil sa lenses ng world natin, she's perky. tapos she comes to you, and sira na yung perception nyo sa kanya. there's incoherence because you see both realities, from your lenses and what she's projecting to you, and you can't really understand na. gets?
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huuhuhuh sana may maka gets sakin diba!!!!!!! i've put a lot of thought into that. ang tagal kong nag-iicip, i even typed it in my phone just to remember my points.
all i'm saying is that maybe we shouldn't get too caught up in our own worlds. and maybe it's really hard to figure out what is true and what isn't.
and trust me, all these realizations started from just a banana. :)
and because of that, i'm going to post something totally unrelated like this:
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