1. MERCURY RETROGRADE taking its toll again. my laptop is not cooperating with me. the website my groupmate gave me is not working. and you might as well throw away my phone. and since mercury retrograde is about communication mishaps, i feel like i'm on a 2-week silent retreat. my roommates are gone and my ym mates are the only people i talk to at night. from 7pm until 9am the next day, i'm quiet as hell.
2. roommies are not here anymore. imy cha and iya! :(
3. oh look, it's my hellweek. i have deadlines. but you know what's better this time? my histo groupmates set a deadline earlier than the deadline our prof gave us, so that we don't cram anything, and we have enough time to edit and troubleshoot and stuff. and i think it's good for me too. and our psychtesting paper, we're done with our part even if the deadline was still sunday evening. so if anything happens, if there are changes to be made, it can be easily done. hellweek. sigh.
4. the fact that i can still manage to commit myself to things that are unimportant for me. i tend to say yes to anything, and then i end up frustrated because i took the job. to add to that, it's my hellweek and i can still say yes.
5. i've said it n times already. i'm the type of person who is on the extremes. i can be chaotic and OC. i can be productive but sometimes procrastinate forever. but most importantly, i can be SPONTANEOUS AND OC WITH PLANNING. you can text me to go watch a movie with you minutes before and i'd say yes. you can call me up and ask me if i want to accompany you to this person's house, gimme 20 minutes, i'll be there. but from that time on, from the moment we make spontaneous plans, my next few hours doing that spontaneous activity is already planned. let's say you text me at 12nn. i can show up at 12:30. and i'd give 5 hours for that activity (movie, eating, etc) and then when i get back to my dorm, i'd give an hour to procrastinate just to set my mood for studying, and then i study till i drop. i like planning because it sets my mind and body to what i will be doing. i like that my disposition, my mood, my outfit even, are planned ahead of time. i like allotting time for procrastination (yes i do that. there is a time to procrastinate for me) and time for in-between breaks when working.
WHAT I HATE MOST IS THAT WHEN MY PLANS DON'T HAPPEN. BECAUSE IT DESTROYS EVERYTHING. my disposition, my mood, the time i allotted for things, my body clock, EVERYTHING. i usually get disoriented. go home and stare at the ceiling not knowing what to do with that 5hour period i allotted for the supposed spontaneous trip. and so i end up procrastinating till i drop. no studying. no productivity. nothing.
i know it's something i have to work on, but for now, i don't give a shit.
6. the problem is i don't have a TV anymore.
isn't that supposed to be a good thing? NO. I CANNOT STUDY WITHOUT THE TV ON. you can ask my roommates, i leave the thing on even when i'm not really watching it. i like the idea that i hear stuff going on while i'm doing my routine studying or procrastinating (yes, procrastinating has become a routine in my schedule). i like the idea that something new is going on every second. i like the idea that i'm not alone in the room when there's a tv. so what's wrong with playing my iTunes really loud? I ALREADY MEMORIZE THE SONGS in my playlist because it plays over and over again. so it's a routine too. i cannot do my routine (i.e. studying) along with something routinary(?!) too. and it has been hard for the past 2 months without the television.what happened? i don't know. i left it on the whole evening. and when i woke up, it wouldn't turn on. i guess something inside of it exploded. overuse perhaps? idk. it's just weird without a tv. aside from not being able to watch shows, i feel so lost.
7. i want to go home. :( i already know my schedule, i just have to consult my mother. my mother who has not been replying to my messages. as you have already learned by now, i am oc with planning stuff. so. here are the things i have already planned when i arrive iloilo:
- BEACH.
with friends in guimaras.
with family in anhawan i guess. or the other way around. BASTA. I HAVE TO GO TO THE BEACH. Bora is overrated, crowded, and time-consuming.- EAT NORMAL REAL AND BURGOS-LAPAZ-ILOILO-CITY-HOME-COOKED-MEALS. i miss nang fe's cooking. yes, go serve sotanghon for me, i'll eat it. (i usually don't eat her sotanghon because she serves it for lolo's poker session every sunday. we're kinda sick of it. BUT I WILL EAT SOTANGHON WHEN I COME BACK). i want to go to summerhouse and drown in crab morcons and patatim. the best in town. i want to eat lechon manok and liempo, the one lolo buys every sunday after mass in tinda lapaz. i miss bluejay's and coffeebreak. i miss jaro plaza's bibingka. i miss BALOT sold in front of Don Benito hospital. i miss Mang Inasal. i miss Peppy Thai's in Sambag, Jaro. i miss puto bungbong in pototan. i miss the dirty ice cream lolo buys from time to time. i miss the halo2x from tinda lapaz. i miss deco's lapaz batchoy. i miss PANTAT!!!!!!! omg I MISS BREAKTHROUGH and TATOY's.
i miss their tangigue, blue marlin and lapulapu. shrimp and scallops and etc. the green seaweed thingy swimming in sinamak. i miss eating by the shore. 
i miss playing by the shore while waiting for the food. i friggin miss real food. - do something new in iloilo. partying, coffee dates, beach (although i'm not tired of these) have always been our agenda during breaks. i want to do something new now. culture-tripping perhaps?
go shopping in downtown iloilo and explore the architectural structures (they're destroying and renovating it little by little, we must explore them before they're gone!!),
go to far places and appreciate the old Churches and bellfrys and stuff. or go to RACSOS ZOO! 
even if we've been there a lot of times na. culture-tripping... what else. let's give art classes or theater classes to little kids! i just want to do something new.- re-decorate my room. part of my procrastination is drawing my room's new look. inspired by xocolat katipunan, which was an old house turned into a restaurant. i must say, it's the loveliest i've ever seen. very home-y. :) i want my room to look somewhat like that.
- bond with mom and the kids.
if they can't visit me here, then i have to be home asap.
8. imissmyfriends.
i haven't been flooding a lot lately although i'm unli most of the time. i miss catt's chikas, i miss anabel's lovelife stories, i miss gwen's funny moments, i miss having sabog conversations with kela, i miss chikatime with shiek, i miss talking about life with pinkyfe, i miss going to beach with the ever present pinkyJ, i miss len's spontaneous out of town trips, i miss ben's apir, i miss everyone. :(( me wanna go home.Gahd, i cannot believe it's thursday tomorrow. IT'S JUST SO FAST. enta seniors' party was just a few days ago, and now it's thursday. a few more days to go and it's going to be another monday again. faster please. faster. fast forward to summer, and then slow down until start of OJT. fast forward the OJT and then slow down during MY LAST YEAR IN ATENEO. yes, you can slow it down. so that i SAVOR EVERY FRIGGIN MOMENT OF MY SENIOR YEAR. shucks. i'm a senior now.
i can just foresee how many more frustration blogs i'll be writing next school year.
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