I have something new in my life. So new in fact, that the last time I had something like this was, let's say, never. You can't count what happened in grade school, we were kids, we played hide and seek; hid in the bushes, sought for our identities. Chos.
To finally knowing what love feels like on both sides. To give love, and have it returned a hundred fold. For knowing that it is not only you having butterflies, rainbows and unicorns. For knowing, and feeling that all this isn't just in your mind. It's real.
To finally having someone who wants to make you happy. To having someone who works hard to make you happier everyday, to exceeding expectations, and to simply be happy because of this person's existence.
To looking forward to the weeks, months, years, to a lifetime of all this "realness". To the plans we're making, and to the direction where we're taking "us" to. To whatever will happen, to however we get through things, to the tomorrow that we're never really sure of. It's comforting to know that despite all these uncertainties, right now, you're the only thing I'm sure of. Sabi nga ni Blaire Waldorf (pahiram muna te) "I'm in. I'm all in."
Barely a week, or a month, and I still haven't gotten the hang of it. I've been in a relationship with myself for too long, that having another physical human entity exist with you is so surreal. We are moving too fast. And I think partly because there is a deadline.
But I am so in love, it is sickeningly mushy and disgustingly cheesy. I usually gawk at couples who can't keep their hands off each other in public places, but (I can't believe I'm saying this) I understand them now. Like you said, the world blacks out, and the only thing you see is me. And everytime you look at me, you look at me like I'm some scientific formula that only you have discovered, except that you look at me lovingly. Argh, I seriously haven't gotten the hang of it, so I'm sorry if I can't spoonfeed you without cringing under my dress, or if I distract myself with something else just so I can stop myself from stealing a kiss from you. I cannot help myself everytime I'm with you. I want to help myself with you.
I know this is all too fast, but whatever, I love you J. I really do.
